Basic French
by InDeppth
Summary: Howard and Vince are finally a couple and are taking a trip to France, just the two of them. Only, Vince tends to get restless on long flights. SLASH.
1. Chapter 1

_**Warnings: **__Public bumming (Plane bathroom), obviously this contains slash – why else would you be here?_

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own The Mighty Boosh. I wish I did._

_A/N:__ My first fic in like months, I don't really know how good this one is but yeah. It's also a first part of an unknown amount of follow up fics – possibly 3? I'm not sure. This is also another one of those collaborative fics. Enjoy!_

Basic French

The sound of the seatbelt sign went off, signaling that it was now okay to move about the aircraft. Vince sighed, his head was resting on Howard's shoulder as he looked down into the other man's hands which were occupied with a book entitled 'Basic French' which Howard was busily trying to study before they landed at their destination: Paris, France.

"I can't believe we're really going to Paris." Howard hummed, finding it hard to read with Vince's finger idly tracing up and down the length of his thigh, somewhat distracting him.

Vince smiled against his shoulder, "Me neither."

Defeated and content, Howard closed the book on his lap and looped an arm around Vince's shoulders tugging him closer. Vince grabbed Howard's hand and brought it to his mouth to place a soft kiss on his knuckles, "I love you."

Howard placed his head on top of Vince's, "I love you too, little man." He paused, smiling, "This is our first holiday as a couple."

Vince's stomach did a flip; it still made him giddy to hear them spoken about as a _real_ couple.

As much as Vince loved spending time with Howard, he knew this plane flight would drag. They always did, no matter how short or long they were supposed to be. Passing the time couldn't just be spent by sitting contently by Howard as he read up on basic French when he knew perfectly well that they most likely wouldn't need it as they would be spending majority of their time together and _alone_. A smirk spread across Vince's lips when the perfect thought dawned on him.

"You know what else I love?" He asked, turning his head to look at Howard again.

"What?"

"This." He traced his hand higher and over the zip of Howard's trousers which caused him to erupt a small squeaking noise that would have normally come from a lady. There was no time to lose.

"_Vince!_" Howard hissed, "There's people around…"

Vince just cocked his head and raised an eyebrow innocently, "So?"

"So… don't get me all, y'know, _excited_…" his eyes darted about to the other people that were thankfully still unaware of their surroundings or sleeping.

Vince bit his lip and continued to stroke over the length of Howard's zip, "Why? I could always fix it."

Howard gave a little frustrated whine, "But we won't be at the hotel for hours…"

Vince looked back at him, hand motion ceasing, "There's a bathroom on here."

Howard's eyes ogled, it was only once before that they had had _relations_ in public so the concept of getting it on in an airplane toilet was still quite a new and daring concept for Howard to grasp. Vince silently questioned him for approval.

"We can't in airplane bathroom, Vince, it's…" Howard whispered, trailing off when Vince's hand began to move again and he took this as an opportunity to speak.

"Why not?"

Still seeing the uncertainty and arousal in Howard's eyes, Vince took his hand by the wrist and pressed it on his own almost fully hard cock. Howard's cheeks grew pinker than what they already were.

"Because we just…No!" he flustered about trying to think of a decent excuse, even though his body was telling him otherwise.

Vince tilted his head so his neck was now exposed and he looked mock-sweet into Howard's eyes, still holding his hand on his trousers, "Aww c'mon," he placed a kiss on the bottom of Howard's jaw, "don't be such a stick in the mud." He teased, flicking a tongue out over an earlobe which turned a protest into a content 'mmm'.

They were still in their own world, no one had noticed them yet. Surprisingly, considering the amount of nervous movement Howard was creating. Vince let go of Howard's wrist but his hand remained there, pressing a little lighter than what it had been.

"I want you so bad." Vince practically whined. Howard couldn't deny his own arousal and knew that if he didn't do something about it then it would not go away, especially with Vince there beside him the whole time. Howard bit his lip, as if thinking of a better option but on finding none he nodded slowly almost cautiously as if he did it too fast his head would fall right off.

"Okay, but we'll go at different times otherwise it'll be too obvious," Vince nodded in agreement, "I'll go first then wait a minute and come after."

Howard left his seat and calmly walked to the small cubicle at the back of the airplane, locked the door and waited. He counted down the seconds and at exactly one-minute-and-thirty-seconds later he heard Vince's shoes arrive out front and so he opened the door and let the smaller man clamber in the tight space. Both of them barely fit on their own and so together it was even more of a hassle for movement or even air to breathe, but they would manage.

Vince wasted no time and kissed Howard hard on the mouth and shoved him as far back as he could go, feeling arms snake about his waist and pull him infinitely closer. His hands roamed Howard's body, feeling the need to touch every part of his body as quickly as possible. Howard grinded against him and moved his arm lower and grasped Vince's firm arse in his hands, squeezing and making a groan escape his mouth. He broke the kiss momentarily, looking down at the pink face below him.

"I want you. Now."

Vince plunged his tongue once again into Howard's mouth, nipping and sucking at soft, wet skin. He began on the buttons of Howard's shirt, giving up on the last two and just ripping it apart and hearing the buttons fly somewhere and bounce off a wall. The shirt was pulled from his shoulders and Vince moved down to place kisses across his bare chest, licking over a nipple on the way down, Howard gasping in response.

Finding enough sense, Howard moved his hands back around Vince and undid his belt and trousers; shoving them down roughly along with his pants to expose Vince's hardened cock and pale thighs. Vince slid them down further and took one leg out completely, freeing up his movement. He took hold of Howard's belt and did the same, his cock bobbed free and twitched slightly in the cold air. Suddenly Vince was on his knees and his tongue was teasing the leaking head of Howard's cock before he took it whole and began a slow gentle pace, Howard groaned low in his throat at the set warmth of Vince's tongue and mouth. Hearing that noise come from Howard and knowing it was by his doing Vince hummed in response and sped up his rhythm. Howard's hands found their way into Vince's ebony waves and locked on tightly, riding out the sensation.

Not wanting to come just yet he pulled Vince back and tugged him up, he complied and rose to his feet, them now once again face to face. Howard gripped his waist and spun him around, lifting him up just enough to rest Vince's arse on the small sink counter. Howard leaned forward and nipped the bottom of Vince's jaw but was soon halted when his face was lifted higher and a tongue slipped into his mouth to ravage its wet walls. He quickly broke the kiss and entered two fingers into Vince's mouth, feeling them be suckled and swirled about by his mouth and tongue as if it were another person and not two singular digits, with his eyes locked onto Howards and not blinking.

Howard extracted the fingers and reached down between the other mans legs, he curled his back to allow Howard better access as he teased the taught entrance. Vince's hum turned into a deep groan when a finger entered him quickly and without hesitation, beginning the process of fucking him – slowly in and out. The pressure of one finger inside him intensified on a certain push when a second finger was added to the process; forgetting his place Vince moaned exceptionally loud and Howard had to press their mouths together almost viciously to silence him to a muffle.

He pulled back and replaced his mouth with a sweaty palm, "I'll stop if you can't be quiet."

Vince nodded quickly.

Speeding up again and keeping his palm on Vince, the smaller man whimpered against him with both hands gripping the sink with white knuckles.

"Ready?"

Vince gave a desperate 'Mmhmm' against the sweaty palm and Howard took it away and Vince's jaw relaxed open as the two fingers left him and were replaced with Howard's throbbing cock pressing into him. Spreading Vince's legs wider to gain him better access, Howard pulled him to the edge of the sink and tipped him slightly backwards and his head fell back against the small mirror.

"Don't forget to be quiet." He reminded, pushing into Vince's eager and abused entrance.

His breath was heavy and his eyes rolled back into his head in a forceful attempt to silence all noise that wanted to escape him. Howard began a steady pace, speeding up every few thrusts. Vince's nails were digging into the backs of his shoulders and he knew that red crescents would be appearing under them. His eyes were wide open staring down at the concentrated look on Vince's face, Howard grabbed a leg and lifted it higher to rest on his shoulder; changing angle and hitting Vince's prostate perfectly. Vince sucked in his bottom lip at the brilliant rush that filled him with each new thrust, biting down and most certainly drawing blood that he sucked and swallowed.

Howard's pace sped up with Vince gasping and moaning each time he was rammed into the sink faucet that dug into the small of his back, not really caring how loud Vince had become as his own grunts were getting increasingly louder.

"Fuck…Howard…"

"Open your eyes."

Vince's eyes shot open to meet with Howard's and that was all it took for both of them. Final thrusts to ride out the release as Howard flowed into Vince whose stickiness now covered their chests as their breaths returned to normal. He pulled out and lowered the smaller man onto his feet in the confines of the cubicle. Vince checked himself in the mirror before leaving, face still flushed, to return to his seat with Howard following soon after and trying to avoid eye contact with anyone as he suspected all of them of knowing what had just occurred.

Both seated and resumed their prior positions, Vince fidgeting and Howard numbly trying to read about French.

Vince spoke to the window, "We still have a few hours left. Might have to do that again; considering I can't keep my hands off you for long." He gave Howard a cheeky wink.

"We are not doing _that_ again on here. No, sir." His eyes avoiding any contact.

Vince gave a little pout and Howard sighed and smirked back at him, "If you can wait I promise when we get to the hotel I'll fuck you as hard as you want, as long as you want and in whatever position you want. Deal?"

Vince's eyes shined excitedly, "Deal."


	2. Chapter 2

_**Warnings: **__Beautiful slash for your viewing pleasure._

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own The Mighty Boosh. If only._

_A/N:__ The long awaited second part to our fic with the same title just minus the 'Part 2'. Hope we didn't leave you hanging, because y'know, we have readers…cough. Anyways, enjoy the slash you dirty fools! Hope you enjoy :)_

Basic French – Part 2

Eagerly stepping into the cold mid-afternoon air of France, Vince and Howard hailed the closest taxi. Howard attempted to give the man the location of their hotel in French but the poor fellow just looked bemused at him before Vince jumped in and repeated the statement in English, giving the man a complete understanding of where he was to head to. The entire drive Howard had the smallest suspicion that Vince was going to try something in the taxi but to his content surprise he did not even smirk at him or show a knowing glint in his eye of what they both knew was going to be the entirety of their holiday. Vince was instead looking out the window to watch all the passing buildings and local residents whiz past and fly behind them to disappear into the distance.

The taxi swerved and slowed down to a halt; they had arrived. They looked at each other and smiled before turning back to beam at the small luxury that would be their lodgings. The driver opened the boot to retrieve their bags which stirred them to hop out of the car and assist the man and watch as he reversed and sped away down the small street.

Howard turned to Vince with an eager smile, "Shall we?"

Bags were immediately discarded beyond the door to their room. Howard going to the balcony to inspect the view that they had earned and Vince being Vince flopped down on the bed, ebony waves spanning around his excited features. Using the other foot he slipped both boots off, Howard turning around on hearing the familiar thud of a Cuban heel followed by another. He entered the room, walking closer to Vince who was now propped up on his elbows with his hair falling behind slim shoulders. That smirk Howard had been waiting for all afternoon was suddenly back, he mirrored this expression as one knee sank into the mattress beside Vince's hip and he leant down to press their lips together. A hand snaked its way around the back of Howard's neck, pulling him closer and intensifying the kiss but still keeping it gentle. He moved his other leg to straddle Vince, pushing him down and lying over his form that was slowly entwining itself around his own.

Breaking away, Howard trailed soft kisses along Vince's prominent jaw and down to his collarbone, flicking his tongue out and over the protruding bones and hearing a soft moan draw itself from Vince's parted lips. Vince's hand was already moving up and under Howard's shirt, Howard complied and let the garment be unbuttoned and stripped from his chest, seeing the sparkle in those blue eyes grow as he pulled the bottom of Vince's shirt up to expose pale skin and he tugged it over his head.

Vince leant up to meet Howard in a messy kiss, tongues exploring what they already knew so well. Keeping close, Howard's hands found their way to Vince's belt; undoing the buckle, button and zip. He slid them down and over socked feet, discarding them on the floor next to his boots. Howard stood to quickly remove the remainder of his own clothing, leaving himself completely naked with Vince still fashioning his Y-fronts.

Trailing kisses up bare thighs Howard spoke, "You were such a good boy on the plane," Lifting his head to look at Vince, "keeping your end of the deal."

Vince's chest was heaving shaky breaths, a hand rested on his stomach, "Yeah…" he breathed as teasing lips were softly pressed against his aching cock.

"So I'm going to keep mine."

Making his way back up to be face to face with his flushed lover.

Eyes darting all over Howard's features and widening on hearing words that had never before left his lips, "So tell me how you want it." He said with a slight smirk and dampening of the lips. Vince drew in another shaky breath before attempting to answer this newfound request.

"Hard and slow."

"Anything else my dear?" Howard raised an eyebrow.

"You decide."

A devilish grin spreading across his face, "It would be my _pleasure_."

Howard wasted no time in removing Vince's underwear, adding it to the pile of clothes on the floor, his hand slowly curling around aroused flesh and hearing that low familiar moan rupture through Vince's throat. He squeezed him gently, teasingly, and moved his hand over him no more than twice. Vince whined in protest at the loss of contact but quickly swallowed this when pursed lips grazed over his hardened nipple, a tongue flicking out to swirl over the small bud.

Howard presented Vince with two fingers which he entered into his mouth, suckling on the digits. He removed the fingers from his mouth, a soft pop sounding and Howard's hand now moved further around Vince, tracing tormenting swirls over the tight ring of his tight entrance; making his back arch and hips lift in attempt to gain more touch. At first Howard ceased movement but then agreed to the demand and slipped the first digit inside him and Vince sunk into the intruder. Twisting and sliding his lone finger in and out slowly, Howard heard soft gasping moans fill the air.

Once again a sudden loss of touch and whimper of frustration, Vince looked at Howard concerned as to why he was doing this to him; even though he had asked for it.

"Stand up. Bend over."

Now he knew why.

Vince stood and positioned himself over the side of the bed, exposing his back half fully to Howard. Swiftly, Howard's chest pressed up against damp skin and two digits entered him and he bucked forward into the side of the mattress. Quickly and roughly Howard fingered Vince, his other hand pushing him down against the bed. Stretching him with scissored movements, curling fingers inside Vince to make him shake from the almost precious contact with his sweet spot.

Howard's movement stopped as he bent further over the smaller man whose form was pressed forcefully and painfully into the side of the bed, he couldn't wait for Vince. He didn't want to.

"Ready?"

Gasping in enough breath to respond throughout the exhale Vince spoke, "I've been ready for hours."

Not wasting any more time, Howard removed his fingers, receiving a gasp from Vince before he spat into his hand, coated his cock and shoved his length roughly inside to earn himself the throaty moan he always loved hearing escape from the confines of Vince's perfect lips.

"Fuck me hard, Howard. Don't hold back." Vince somehow managed to speak.

"Wasn't planning to."

Howard gripped Vince's hips, knowing that the bruises would be there by morning, and began a quick and aggressive rhythm between them; pulling out almost fully before slamming back into Vince to hear him cry out in that oh-so-perfect way with each forceful impact. Each quick pull out received an almost just as quick and far more rough return, making Vince shake and moan each time Howard rammed into that perfect place inside of him he knew so well. Noticing Vince's struggle to hold himself up - legs almost collapsing under him- Howard thrust harder and faster, grabbing around Vince's chest to pull him closer.

Letting his head fall back against Howard's shoulder, Vince's haggard breaths and grasping moans were now closer and hoarser against Howard's ear. His hand ran over and across Vince's chest; exploring ribs and teasing nipples. Vince's hands shot to Howard's thighs, gripping them tightly.

"Fuck."

Suddenly Howard pulled out, pushing Vince down further then deciding better of it and flipping him onto the bed and his back. Opening his legs and looking up, Vince bit his lip nervously, anticipating Howard's next move. Moving over Vince, Howard wasted no time in entering him, this time drawing out the sensation; slow and deep with Vince writhing beneath him. Whimpering and gripping the sheets in white-knuckled fists.

Lifting his hips to meet Howard, Vince arched and pushed his head back into the cushioning of the mattress, whining a '_Harder_' with tightly shut eyes. Howard complied and grabbed Vince's legs, placing them over each of his shoulders and gaining him a more satisfying angle as he sped up.

"Mmmyeah..." Howard shifted himself only that tiny bit more to where he knew he could get that short – but intoxicating – sound to escape Vince.

"_Oh_." And there it was.

Howard groaned in response, the sound coming from deep within his throat. Vince was squirming as much as he could with restricted movement, legs shaking against Howard, eyes tight and mouth gaping a silent scream. Each of Howard's thrusts had moved them further and further up the bed, now almost ramming the top of Vince's skull into the head board. Vince released a hand from the strangled sheets and gripped the headboard.

Suddenly not wanting it to be over just yet Vince managed to form something along the lines of a sentence through gasping moans and use of a dried tongue, "Fuck, Howard – I'm gonna – if you, _uh_, don't..." thankfully Howard understood and slowed down, pulling out again to sit on the edge of the bed. Vince scrambled over to straddle him and quickly capture his mouth in a messy kiss of teeth and tongue. Squeezing Vince's bare arse and bringing him closer to himself, Howard moaned into his mouth and attempted a nip at a tongue before he found his neck accosted with flicks of his wanted victim and small nips of teeth, sending a shiver travelling up his spine. Eager hands travelling down and across his torso, Howard found Vince begging for him.

"Please..."

He lifted Vince from the hips and positioned himself once more and let the other man sink down slowly, drawled moans from both filled the humid air. His hands found Vince's arse once more and squeezed both cheeks harshly, leaning forward to whisper, "Lean back."

Vince didn't argue and he let each hand drop behind him for support as he slowly lowered himself backwards. Howard steadily started moving his hips, thrusting himself inside Vince but not deep enough to create any response greater than a wanting whimper of frustration. Pulling Vince's hips closer to himself he told him to relax and sure enough he felt the smaller man loosen beneath him. Howard gently pressed into his prostate, seeing Vince's concentrated expression let go and drawing a low moan from dry lips.

"_More_." Vince whimpered, trying his best not give out under his arms regardless of the fact that Howard's thighs were supporting him. Howard doesn't listen and instead continues to draw needing gasps from Vince until he himself can't hold out much longer.

"Vince… I'm –"

No need to say more as he was cut off by Vince's sudden cry and incoherent babbling with his body shaking against Howard and releasing onto him. Hearing, seeing and feeling so much come from his lover, Howard was sent over and he too became a victim in the smaller mans hold, sending himself rushing through him in a wave of pleasure.

Eventually realising their current position was still held, Howard pulled Vince back up and lifted him up from the hips to stand before he collapsed back down onto the mattress and his back. Seeing this as a good option, Howard followed and he leant back to lay himself next to Vince who had a content smile spread across his features.

Vince turned his head to look at him, "Howard?"

Howard kept his eyes closed and his head turned upwards towards the ceiling, "Mmm?"

"I love you." He confessed, knowing Howard already knew this, and shuffled closer to drape himself over him.

Howard arms welcomed Vince and he pulled him close to whisper softly, "Love you too, little man."


End file.
